Imagine in Words

Playing my Heart Part 2

Six months has passed since that fateful encounter with the holoform. Thing slowly shifted back to normal. I still had missions to attend and other jobs on base that needed me. However, over time, it started to bother me as I sat within the Autobot leader’s cabin. The more I thought, the more I realized.

I couldn’t go on like this.

Eventually, I turned in a letter for a change in position. It was accepted with no questions asked. I was good in my position so moving me around was an easy task. The higher ups just thought I would work best with Prime, and I did.

If only my heart didn’t get involved.

We were returning back from another mission. Lately, the missions were regarding the search for energon. Even being on Earth for so long and having the ability to convert fuel to energon, it never occurred to us humans or even the Autobots that finding the actual source would have been better. It was a fluke on my side, to be honest.

I was in my office messing with some chemical components when soil samples were brought in. When battles happened, my job was to make sure that none of the energon spilled would corrupt the ground causing issues for the human race. The components I had received were from a cave fight. I figured it was deep enough that no issues would come from it, but when my results turned a bright blue, I knew I found something.

I took my results to the Autobot’s Chief Medical Officer, Ratchet. He was surprised by the results, explaining that I had just found energon. It didn’t take long for Ratchet to fly through his datapad pulling up information regarding how energon was stored away on distant planets when the war caused many losses and energon was short on supplies. He felt so stupid forgetting about it. The information was taken to Optimus Prime.

Our first mission took us to one of the neighboring mountains where we received the soil sample. I had my ride transferred to Ratchet. He didn’t question me, but I knew that Ratchet could tell something was off. Prime and I used to joke around, talk when things were going bad, sit outside and just gaze at the stars. Now, Prime was found alone, servos behind his back and helm faced up, staring into the black sky.

Ratchet tried to get me to talk, but I told him it was nothing. Prime and I just drifted apart and since my job now required the medical officer of the Autobots more, I thought it was wise to move. He didn’t question me anymore after that.

“Did you have good results,” a male voice broke me from my concentration as I stepped out of the yellow Hummer. Keith and I became good friends roughly two months ago. I was drowning myself in beer when he bumped into me one night. We sat and talked without going into too much detail and hit off a pretty good friendship.

I smiled at Keith as he stopped by my side. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pressed a quick kiss to my head, his way of saying hello even though I told him I wasn’t interested in any relationship. I nodded before moving out of his grip. “There were several energon mines located in that one cave. Ratchet is going to see if there is some way to mine it.”

“Who would have figured,” guessed Keith as he grabbed one of the huge crates and followed me to my office. It was still located in the same spot, just off from the Autobot commander’s office and next to Ratchet’s.

“There are many things we don’t understand,” I replied back after I unlocked the door and pushed the huge doors to the side. Keith walked in while I stood watching. Optimus had transformed to his bipedal form. He spoke with Lennox upon the catwalk for a few minutes before walking in my direction. Since I changed my position, he hasn’t made any eye contact with. He still didn’t as he walked into his office; the door sliding shut behind him.

“You really should talk to him.” I jumped, a short gasp escaping my lips as I turned around. Ratchet stood leaning against his door way; arms crossed over his chassis.

I shook my head, “This is probably for the best.”

I heard as Ratchet’s vents cycled air before he turned to walk in. I eyed him for a minute before following the yellow mech into his office. Ratchet stopped by his huge metal desk, both servos leaning against it. “Do you know why Prime made that rule?”

“What rule?” I quickly asked. I probably knew what rule he was talking about, but I didn’t want to admit my feelings regarding Prime to just anybody even if that somebody was Ratchet.

Ratchet shook his helm. “Don’t play coy. I could tell from the moment it started happening.”

I moved to stand against the wall, my own arms crossing over my chest. I heard as the door was slid shut, keeping most of our conversation private. “Okay, if you knew, then why are you pushing? This is for the best, right?”

Ratchet looked over his shoulder, his bright blue optics darkened for a few seconds before returning to their normal color. “Optimus had a mate back on Cybertron,” he started. My eyes widen as I fell against the wall, my hands holding me up. Ratchet ignored me and continued. “He lost her during the Great War. Since that day, he has been carrying guilt. His spark will never be whole. He put that rule out there to avoid that spark ache from ever happening again.”

I swallowed hard, “Why are you telling me this?”

Ratchet ex-vented loudly as if he was sighing. “Because you need to know what position you put him in. No organic has wormed their way into Prime like you have. Slowly, it is destroying him, just like how the loss of Elita almost destroyed him the first time.”

Ratchet walked around his table towards the back. I heard another door open before it closed behind him. I walked over to the huge door leading out of the medbay. It opened and closed quickly behind me as I made my way over to my own office.

Keith was inside placing everything away. My thoughts were not on the current results of the mission. I looked over my shoulder, my thoughts a mix. Keith had stopped and approached me, his hand resting upon my arm. I looked up at him, his brown eyes filled with worry. I only smiled before walking over to my desk. My notebook and laptop sat before me. Information regarding the cave’s results filled each page. I had beakers out along with some slides to look under a microscope. Nothing at the moment held my attention, nothing but one: a certain red and blue mech and the information I just learned.

“Hey, let’s go get something to eat. You seem stressed.” Keith had stopped by my side, his hand resting upon my desk. I closed my notebook and smiled with a nod.

We both walked out of my office and towards the mess hall. I walked slowly, only stopping at the corner to glance back to the rows of huge doorways. I watched as Keith walked towards the mess hall. He ran into a few of his friends and started talking. My thoughts drifted back to Ratchet’s conversation. Breathing deeply, I turned from the direction of the mess hall and walked back to the huge doorways stopping at one.

I saw the keypad next to the huge door. Everyone on base knew that if the Autobot leader was in his office, he usually wasn’t one to be bothered. However, a few of us were given a keycode password that allowed us entrance into his office, especially if we had information that he needed to know. I swallowed hard and keyed in the numbers. The door slid open just wide enough for a human to walk in.

This wasn’t the first time I had been in the Autobot leader’s office. However, this time it was different. There were no huge lights turned on, just small ones within each corner of the room. One huge desk sat in the middle. A few tables sat against the wall while a long bookcase sat behind the desk. I didn’t see Prime sitting at his desk or anywhere within the room. Did I just miss him? It would be hard to miss a twenty-eight-foot Cybertronian.

I was planning to turn around and walk out when I hear a crash from behind the bookcase. Cautiously, I walk around the huge desk and then the long bookcase. Another hallway sat hidden in the darkness. It was also lit with just a few lights. I walked down it only to find a closed door. At first, I was confused about what this room was used for when I remembered. Most of the Autobots like Ratchet, Optimus Prime, and Ironhide had private rooms. I thought their rooms were just in another location, not attached to their office. It made sense, though.

I heard the same crash forcing me to push against the door. Surprisingly, it was different than the other doors. It popped open allowing me to sneak through. This room wasn’t as big as the office. A huge recharge berth sat in one corner while the other held a huge chair and small table. I looked around the room and noticed what caused the crash. Littering the floor were shards of glass and sitting in the middle was the great Autobot leader.

Optimus was hunched over, his servos curled by his side with his back towards me. Everyone knew Prime as a stoic leader. He gave orders and followed through with them. He went to battle, returning with results. He was something that even the humans were pretty surprised about. To see the Autobot commander look so broken, it only showed the weight and pressure that leadership hung upon him.

I wanted to call out to him, but what could I say, a mere human that has already caused so much trouble when he had enough on his plate. I turned to walk out of the room when my foot hit a piece of glass, sliding it across the floor. I looked over my shoulder and watched as Prime turned his helm to me.

“I’m sorry,” I quickly said as I backed up against the wall, my head dropping so that I was staring at the ground. Optimus remained where he was. He stared at me for only a few seconds before I glanced up and watched his huge metal body move to a standing position.

Optimus walked over to me and dropped down to a knee, one of his black metal digits reached out towards me, tipping my chin up. “What are you doing here?” His voice was deep. It wasn’t his normal baritone voice that I had grew to love, but something far deeper.

I rolled my bottom lip in and began chewing against it. Prime’s finger moved from my chin to rub against my lip, the metal cool against them. I tried to turn my head away, not allowing him to see the pain of being here, on what I have caused him to be witness within my eyes.

“I’ll ask again, what are you doing here?” His voice grew deeper as if he was angry with me. No human has ever seen Prime get mad. The other Autobots have told story that Prime was patient, always holding in his anger unless it was unleashed against the Decepticon and even then, that wasn’t the full power of Optimus Prime.

I raised my head forcing him to drop his servo. My eyes blurred as tears burned against them. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. I slowly moved towards the door, but before I could exit, Prime quickly used his servo to slam it shut. I gasped as I quickly turned towards him.

Optimus slowly stood and walked back to his recharge berth, slowly sitting down. I dropped to my knees, my back leaning against the closed door. We sat in silence, the only sound being the cycle of air through his vents and my small puffs of air.

I don’t know how long we sat in silence before Prime finally stood. He walked over and propped the door open, his servo holding it just wide enough for a human to slide through. His voice caused a shiver to race through my skin, “Get out.”

I wanted to say something, but the darkness within his optics quickly told me that it was wise to just listen. I quickly went through the small gap only to hear it slam shut behind me causing me to jump by the force of it being closed. I walked down the small hallway back into his office before exiting out the huge room.

My thoughts were a mess from seeing Prime as he sat in the middle of glass to the anger that I felt from him saying those two words. I walked out of the huge hanger towards the vehicle hangar. I hopped into one of the Jeeps and turned the engine on. I pulled out and started driving. Ratchet had walked out of the huge hangar with Lennox and Keith at his side. I didn’t stop even as Keith called my name. I switched gears and pressed the pedal down, driving out of the base.

Stormy clouds had gathered against the horizon. The sea looked dark as waves crashed against the empty beach. I had stopped near a lookout point, parking the Jeep on the side of the road. I walked the small animal path down to the sand. I took off my shoes and stood within the shallow water watching as lightning flashed within the clouds.

A gust of wind blew my hair over my shoulder. Sea water splashed against my face mixing with the trail of tears that kept running down my cheeks. I wanted to scream. I felt like I was stabbed in the chest, and I was gasping for air as I bled out upon the ground. I watched as the sun disappeared behind the clouds, cloaking the land in orange and gray. I heard the rumble of thunder as the waves became harsh, splashing against the rocks.

I slowly moved from the water towards a small rock ledge. The water was clear and deep. I could see small sea life as each wave moved the water. Curling my knees to my chest, I pressed my eyes to my knees and sobbed silently.

I don’t know how long I sat out here near the sea. The orange light of the sun had disappeared completely leaving only the dark clouds of the incoming storm. I heard as a vehicle approached the cliff. I rolled my face to rest my cheek watching as the vehicle stopped. It was a certain semi covered in red and blue. I heard as both of the doors were opened before they were closed. I rolled my head away to stare out towards the dark water, listening as the Jeep was started and then drove away.

Feet crunching against sand soon stopped near my side. A navy leather jack soon covered my shoulders. I returned to pressing my eyes against my knees as another harsh sob escaped my lips. I felt as he moved to sit beside me, his arm wrapping around me and pulling me to his chest. No words were said but I felt as he pressed a chaste kiss to my head.

When darkness coated the beach, I felt as Prime moved, one of his arms wrapping around me while the other went under my legs. He lifted me, holding me close to his chest as he made his way back to his real self. He walked over to the passenger side, the door propping open and sat me upon the leather seat. I didn’t see his holoform disappear as the door closed.

The semi rumbled to life and did a huge U-turn before driving back to base. Soldiers ran across the base, ignoring the big rig as it drove back towards the main hangar. Optimus stopped outside the human barracks. I moved to open the door when it opened on its own, his human holoform stood before me. He reached out, helping me down before wrapping an arm around me and leading me down the hallway.

Women on base each had their own room. Mine was down the second hallway and the third room on the right. There were not many women on base, so the hallway was quiet most of the time. Soldiers ignored the holoform as he walked with me. I stopped at my room and pulled out my keys. I unlocked the door and walked in expecting Prime to leave. He followed me in and closed the door, locking it behind him.

The room didn’t have much: a small, attached bathroom, a bed big enough for two people to sleep on, a dresser, a chair, and a small desk. I turned on the small lamp near my bed watching as the lightning flashed outside the window. I had left the window open allowing the sea breeze to drift in. It now held the scent of rain.

Optimus directed me towards my bed. He removed the navy jacket and laid it over the back of the chair. He pulled down the blankets and guided me so that I was laying down. I put my hands under my head and closed my eyes, a few tears escaping them. I felt as Prime wiped them away before weight shifted upon my bed. Prime had crawled over me. He positioned himself behind me before wrapping his arm around me and pulling me flushed against him.

“Sleep.” His voice was still the same deep baritone I heard in his room. I wanted to voice out what he was doing, but exhaustion pulled at me. I eventually closed my eyes just as the first loud bang of thunder echoed across the base.

When I woke, it was pitch dark out. Lightning still flashed through the small window followed by the crack of thunder. I could still feel Prime laying against me as I rolled gently. I peered over my shoulder to see his bright blue eyes staring at me. I couldn’t understand why he was here, why he came to retrieve me.

I slowly tried slipping out of the bed. His hand reached out and stopped me. I looked over my shoulder once more and saw him still staring at me. I shook my head and shoved his hand away. He already told me that a relationship between him and I would never happen. Why does he keep tormenting with the use of his holoform?

I walked to the door and unlocked it. I heard as he moved to sit up. I didn’t stop as I walked out and back down the hallway. Lightning continued to flash. Metal against metal still echoed throughout the base. The storm had not arrived, but just the mere presence of this storm could be heard throughout the base.

I walked out of the human barracks. I saw Ironhide helping Lennox move a few of the vehicles into the other empty hangars. Ratchet was running with a few other humans. I noticed the huge semi sitting next to the building, the rumble of its unique engine quiet.

Keith was helping a few of the men tie down some of crates when he noticed me. He quickly ran over, his brown eyes full of worry as he glanced over my shoulder to the door of the human barracks.

“Are you okay?” he quickly asked. I smiled up at him and walked to where some of the other crates needed helped tied down. “Hey, stop. Look at me. If you need to talk, I am here.”

I wanted to tell Keith all about my feelings. I wanted to rant to Keith on how nothing seemed fair. My eyes connected with his before the shifting of metal caught my attention. I turned and watched as the semi broke apart, and Optimus stood to his full height. His bright blue optics stared at me as he walked towards the other Autobots. I only sighed deeply before returning to the knot I was trying to finish.

“You love him, don’t you?”

I dropped the rope, the knot coming undone as I looked up at Keith, shock clearly evidence within my eyes.

“Not anymore.” I replied softly.

Keith scoffed as he crossed his arms. “As if.” I eyed my friend watching as he walked around the crates to look at the other Autobots. Prime stood before them; servos curled at his hips with his back towards us. “He loves you, too. We can see it. So, why are you denying it?”

“It’s forbidden,” I reply as I grab the rope again.

Keith takes the rope out of my hand and quicky ties the knot before grabbing my upper arm and pulling me around the crate. “I would think again. Not everything remains forever. You of all people should know that.”

Keith left me standing beside the crates just as Prime turned around. His optics connected with mine just as the wind sent a gust through the base. I held my hair back and closed my eyes watching as a tree started to lean, break, and fall. Everything moved in slow motions. Prime raced across the short distance and dropped to a knee, his metal frame taking the fall as he cupped me into his servo and pulled me against his chassis. I looked into his optics and saw something that made me realize that I didn’t care.

Moving from Prime’s servo, I walked closer to his face. Placing my fingers against the soft metal, I looked him the optics for a second before down at his metal lips. Pressing my body forward, I leaned my head and pressed my lips against his bottom one. A gust of warm air brushed my hair over my shoulder and down my back. I felt as Prime leaned into the kiss, his servo coming to wrap around me as he attempted to deepen the kiss.

I eventually took a step back when my breathing came short. Prime stared at me as he traced a digit up and down my side, stopping to press gentle circles upon my back. My tongue darted out to run across my bottom lip. I could still taste him which encouraged me to continue.

I stepped forward and traced my hand across his face, my eyes darting from his to my hand. “I don’t care if a relationship between us is forbidden. I love you, Optimus Prime, and I am not going to stop loving you.”

Optimus curled his digits around my small form, pressing me against his lips once more. His deep baritone rumbled against my chest before his lips were pressing against me, another attempt at deepening a kiss with words that made tears pool and run. “I love you too and I don’t care either.”

As the Autobots moved around, helping to pick up what the wind knocked over, Prime stared at me as I stared at him. When thunder echoed across the base and the first drops of water started hitting against his metal frame, we both realized what we wanted and needed. Forbidden or not, we were not going to allow it to prevent us. No longer were our emotions playing with our hearts. We saw in each other the burning flame with only one possible answer.

Prime followed me back to my room when the storm picked up in strength. His alt mode was moved into a shelter with the other Autobots, most going into recharge. I stopped before the bed, my eyes watching as lightning continued to dance as heavy rain pounded against the roof. Slowly, I approached my bed and took a seat. I looked over my shoulder and watched as Prime closed the door behind him, the lock clicking in place.

He walked to sit behind me, his weight forcing me to fall against him. His mouth dropped to my neck, a short gasp escaping my lips as he trailed his teeth and tongue against the skin. Words weren’t said as he wrapped his arm around me, one hand sneaking up to grab my breast through my shirt while the other trailed against my leg to cup me in between. I arched my body against him which in return forced him to growl against my neck.

His voice was warm and hot against my ear as he continued to rub my nipple through my clothing, “Before we continue, I need to know if you consent.”

I twisted my body forcing his hand to drop. His eyes were a dark blue as he stared into my own. Already my heart was pounding against my chest. The Autobot leader had fallen for me and was here asking if I would like to continue.

My arm reached up to wrap around his neck, pulling his mouth to mine. With a smirk across my face, I whispered against his lips, “As if you had to ask, but yes, I consent.”

Optimus quickly smashed his lips to mine as his arm wrapped around me once more, his hand diving under my shirt to ghost against my skin. I gasped allowing his tongue to invade. He rubbed his fingers along my ribs snaking them towards the back. I felt my bra become loose as he broke the kiss to trail it down the side of my neck, forcing me to lean my head to the side. He nipped and sucked as his other hand undid the button to my jeans, one hand disappearing inside to trace against my wet lips.

I arched against his hand as one finger circled my clit. He used this chance to pull my shirt over my head along with my bra, both went flying onto the floor. I felt as he moved behind me, removing his own shirt. My back fell against his bare chest as he pushed a finger inside. I jerked my hips as he used a hand to turn my chin towards him, his mouth sealing away another gasp as a second soon joined.

As his mouth sucked away my breath, I reached behind myself and undid his belt and button. He moved his hips, sliding out of his pants. I heard as they fell to the floor. His hand holding my chin dropped to my own. He pushed them down without removing his fingers from in me. I arched and shivered upon the touch as he kept thrusting in and out with just his hand. When I felt the edge coming, he pulled out forcing a deep groan to escape my lips.

His hands grabbed my shoulders forcing me to turn and face him. Before me stood the most handsome man I have ever seen, but I knew this was just a representation. The one I loved sat in the building beside us. Prime wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me flushed against him as his mouth enveloped mine. He deepened the kiss quickly as he slowly leaned my body back against the bed, his weight covering me in a warm blanket.

I felt as he adjusted himself in between my legs. His fingers traced down my jaw and over my breast before pinching my nipple. I moaned deeply, breaking from the kiss. Optimus trailed his mouth over my jaw, upon my collarbone before sucking on a nipple. I moved against him, my hands grabbing the sheets. Prime switched and did the same to my other breast, his one hand raising to grasp both together.

He planted another searing hot kiss upon my lips as I felt him move. My body started to tense. He broke the kiss to whisper into my ear, “Relax. I will not hurt you.”

I nodded, my eyes staring into his.

Slowly, Prime moved his hips, the tip pressing through my wet lips. My teeth clenched together as tears pricked my eyes. Optimus kept moving, slowly inching himself inside me. I pushed my hips up feeling as my body stretched to fit him. He tightened his grip upon my hands as he pressed his body against mine. His mouth pressed open wet kisses against each tear as he finally filled me.

We laid joined together for a few seconds before I finally nodded slowly. Optimus pulled back gradually before thrusting in. At first, the pain was there, but it started little by little to disappear. Pleasure raced up my skin like goosebumps. Prime started out slow before he began picking up speed. I arched against him, a moan escaping my lips. He let my hands go, allowing me to drag my nails down his back. He moved to his knees, wrapping both hands around my hips to position himself better. Speed and strength soon followed. He was quickly moving within me, drawing each moan and gasp from our bodies.

The feeling from before started to return. Slowly, it began to build. It raced to my heart, to my mind before circling its way down through my stomach. I felt as Prime started to become jerky, lengthening each thrust. Before long, the edge arrived, and we both fell over it. Optimus groaned my name, arching his back as I screamed my release. It felt like time stayed still as he jerked his hips a few times before collapsing upon me.

The sound of the rain pounding against the roof was the only sound besides our heavy breathing. Prime rolled, still remaining inside. He eventually removed himself before grabbing the sheet and dragging it over our bodies. My heart was pounding. Optimus trailed his hands upon my back drawing small circles against the damp flesh.

The last thing I remember before sleep finally claimed us both was his deep baritone voice whispering that he loved me once more. No longer playing with my heart, Optimus Prime was mine just as I was his.