Can’t Lose You
Summary: The aftermath of a battle left many people thinking of what was to come next. I didn’t, though. I was thinking about what I could possibly lose. Who knew that someone else was thinking the same thing.
Warning: M (mech/human sexual content and sparkbonding)
The sun had started to set in the distance, the golden colors of red, yellow, and orange disappearing as dark blue and purple took over the sky. No one knew how close the world came to be conquered. No one understood what was at risk just mere hours ago.
I wrapped my arms around my body and continued my walk down the sidewalk. Street lights slowly started turning on. Vehicles drove by their headlights flashing against the remaining puddles of the storm that recently passed by.
I remember as the gray clouds covered the sky, only bits of sunshine peeking through as everyone looked at the losses that were received but the feeling of accomplishment. We were so close to losing it all, so close to becoming the victims to a war that no human actually knew about.
Taking the left path, I walked out of the small town and up a common hill we all used to visit. He would stand looking over the high parts seeing for miles as farm houses lit up in the distance. He always looked like a knight in shining armor. I just didn’t realize how close I came to lose my knight. The battle was intense, but reinforcement showed up in just the nick of time, forcing a subtle change. Their war was finally over.
I sat upon the fallen log, drawing my knees to my chest. For over two years, we worked with the strange metal aliens from another planet. We researched, trained, and conducted many strategies till that fateful day. My skills were gladly needed especially with my mechanical and chemical knowledge. There were too many times that I would be working with the medic, and he would walk by returning from a meeting or a training session. We would catch eyes or optics in his case. A smile would make its way up across his faceplates and metal lips which I have finally learned were called dermas. It should have been the first clue, but I think we both ignored it knowing that it was impossible.
Pin prick feelings tethered at the corner of my deep chestnut eyes as water started to pool and slowly fall down my face. I sniffled hard, rubbing my cheeks against my jeans. I should have known it would be impossible, but there are times that I wish it wasn’t. I felt as if my heart was breaking in two.
I just couldn’t hold it anymore.
Tears spilled and ran as I sobbed against my knees, tightening my arms around them. I rocked back and forth as each sob escaped my lips. As I recalled the small talks we would have when his shift was finished along with mine, a few more deep sobs would escape my lips. Even when he was in meetings, he would make time to see me, watching as I left the base to return home.
I don’t know how long I cried. The sun had barely any light left on the horizon. The first few stars were starting to appear within the pale black of the upcoming night. I sighed deeply as I rolled the palms of hands over my eyes.
I chuckled lightly to myself. I could almost hear the deep rumble of his engine, so unique compared to any type of diesel engine I worked on. I could remember the smell of his leather as I sat inside when we would drive without any destination in mind. Occasionally, when I had to stay late, he would allow me to sleep inside his sleeper cab. I usually slept the best when I was with him, knowing that I was safe and cared for.
That same rumble came louder. I turned to look over my shoulder, my eyes widening upon the sight. His alt mode was always the largest with a deep royal blue body and custom orange and red flames. The small static sound escaped from the rumbling engine. I smiled as tears began to roll down my face.
He always knew where to find me, even if we were miles apart.
Slowly, I watched as his bipedal took shape at a height of six-foot-five. When I first met the holoform, I was shocked. I thought Ratchet had done something, especially with how short he was. Well, technically, the medic did. However, there was no mistake, even with his bipedal holoform he was still the same mech.
His bright blue optics opened to stare at me, a smile forming across his dermas. I wanted to return the smile. Oh, how badly I wanted to run into his arms. Their war was over. They would be returning home soon, or at least that is what I believed. That very thought held me grounded to my spot.
“You left so soon,” his deep baritone voice spoke as he approached my side.
“I figured it was for the best,” I replied. I glanced up at him and saw his optical ridge rise over one optic. I knew he could see right straight through me; knew that I was lying.
Optimus Prime dropped down to a knee, two of his black digits coming forward to raise my chin. “Did you really think it was for the best?”
He held me in such a grip that was gentle but strong. I tried nodding, but he aimed his helm at me with a certain look in his optics, once again with one optical ridge rose.
I shook my head as tears spilled and ran. I had finally broke in front of him. “I can’t lose you,” I say between each sob as I dropped to fall against his metal chest.
Optimus wrapped his arms around me, his hand trailed through my hair as he slowly rocked back and forth. “You will never lose me. I will always be here for you.”
I shook my head once more before looking up. His eyes glowed a bright blue as he looked me in the eye. I traced my hands up through the many vents upon his faceplates before wrapping one hand around his neck cables. Slowly, I pushed up so my back was straight as I pressed my fleshy red lips against his metal silver ones.
I felt as Prime ex-vented before he returned the kiss. His one arm held me closer to his body as his other dug deeper into my hair. I broke away watching as his optics darkened before a ghost of a smile traced over his dermas.
“I do not want to lose you either,” he replied as he held me closer, his dermas placing a light kiss upon my forehead.
His voice left me tingling. His touch left me wanting. I knew it should be wrong, but this mech has been with me through it all. The anxiety attacks of each battle. The confusion when I couldn’t figure out a chemical solution or my mechanical knowledge failed me.
Wrapping both arms around his neck once more, I pressed my lips against his whispering one word, hopefully with all that is said, he will understand what I want, “Please.”
Optimus broke the kiss to cup my face with both of his servos before he leaned forward ever so close, “Are you sure?”
“I have never been so sure about anything till now.”
It was like nothing that I had expected. Optimus dropped his arms to wrap around me, pulling me hard against his metal chassis. His dermas pressed against mine. I felt as he nipped against my bottom lip, pulling it between his dentas. He traced it with his glossa slowly coaxing me to open. When I opened, he dived in, tangling his glossa with my tongue. I moaned against the feeling as his hands played my body like a fine tune. He groaned as he tried to deepen the kiss even more.
I slowly dragged my small hands over his body, over the triple exhaust pipes that existed on both sides. I pressed the tips of my fingers against some of the cables, knowing how some could be more sensitive to others. I felt as he rumbled his engine against me as he dropped his dermas to the side of my neck. He nipped and sucked as I traced over him forcing him to moan deeply.
His mouth made its way up to my ear, his ex-vent warm against the skin as he rumbled against me, his voice deep. “Let me show you why you will not lose me.”
I gasped as I arched against him, my chest pressing against his metal, “Yes, please.”
Slowly, Optimus moved his hands to wrap under my legs, allowing me to wrap them around his waist. He dropped to his knee before gently laying me upon the soft grass. The left-over water made my back wet, but I didn’t care. Prime stared into my eyes as he moved one servo to ghost over my stomach, tracing under the dark green shirt to touch my skin.
I opened my mouth in a sharp gasp as I felt metal against me. I thought it would be cold, but the touch was so warm. He traced patterns across my stomach, slowly inching up across my ribs before dusting against the hem of my black bra. I pushed to lean upon one arm, letting my lips glide against his own. Optimus wrapped his arm around me, deepening the kiss. I felt as the same hand slid under my shirt and reached for the hem to pull it over my head. I made it easy by unclipping my bra. He took both pieces of clothing and tossed it over my head.
I wanted to protest, but he dropped his dermas against my neck, nipping and sucking the sensitive skin. It forced me to moan and reach out, my hands tracing over his metal body. I dove my small fingers in between sheets of metal, tracing each cable that made him alive. When I grabbed one cable too tight, he groaned deeply before dipping his helm and sucking upon my left nipple, taking it between his dermas to swirl it around with his glossa.
I rolled against the grass. My knee kept coming up and rubbing him in all the right spots. He switch breasts just as he dropped his hips and rumbled his engine deeply. I cried out and arched my back from the sensation, as pure desire ran through my body. I grabbed upon his shoulders, holding him close before I heard the quiet pop and his dermas were leaving a trail of heat down to the hem of my jeans. Optimus slowly undid the button and pulled the zipper. He took his time dragging my jeans off, kissing each piece of skin that was available. His servos ghosted over my knees before cupping under my thighs.
Leaning up, I watched him as he pressed gentle kisses to the inner parts of my thigh before bringing a servo up and cautiously tracing around my outer lips. I shivered upon the contact. It was my first time being touched by someone down there. He watched me carefully as he circled my clit causing me to arch my back and moan deeply.
I gasped sharply as I felt him enter one digit. It was a sensation like no other. He curled and spun before entering a second. I pushed my hips down, wanting more. I clenched against his fingers, hoping that something would prevent the ache that was slowly starting to form. He slowly started to move his metal digits in and out. It was too much. I screamed his name as the knot in my stomach exploded.
Optimus removed his digits and slid his body over mine before leaning gently upon his elbows. Both of his servos dug into my hair as he pressed his dermas to my lips, deepening the kiss into an extreme passion. When I pulled away, my lips swollen from the kiss, his optics were staring into mine.
“I love you. Never forget that. I will always be here. You will not lose me.” He spoke in his deep baritone voice. Tears burned in the corner of my eyes before rolling and disappearing into my hair. I could only nod my head and stare into his deep cobalt optics.
Optimus pulled back to lean upon his knees. I pushed up to my elbows to watch what he was doing. Slowly, he removed the two hanging plates between his thighs before unclicking his crotch plate protector. My eyes trailed from the mech’s equipment to the optics of the mech I loved. I breathed out slowly as I laid back down. Prime moved his metal body between my legs, spreading them out.
I swallowed hard when I felt the tip at my entrance. “Focus on me, not the pain,” he whispered against my ear, his voice rumbling so close that I shivered at the contact.
Slowly, Prime moved his hips, pressing forward. The head split my wet lips disappearing into tight heat. Inch by inch, he started to slowly fill me. Tears started to burn and fall. I started to move and arch against him as he pressed through a small bit of resistance causing me to cry out a sharp scream.
Optimus stopped, allowing me time to adjust as he pressed gentle kisses upon my cheeks. “Relax,” he continued whispering. “Breath, sweetspark.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his helm to me. I smashed my lips against him, devouring away the pain as I breathed through my nose. With my lips still attached, I nodded. Slowly, he pulled back and gave a tentative thrust, watching for any sign of pain within my eyes. My eyes closed as pleasure rolled across my skin like goosebumps. I moaned deeply against his lips as he return to kissing me with the same intense fervor as before.
Each thrust felt deeper, faster, stronger. I arched my back, trying to keep up with the speed. I dragged my hand over the metal plates of his chest, over the unique red and orange flames that made his body. My fingers dived in, touching any part of the protoform causing Optimus to moan and thrust deeply into me.
Slowly, it started. A strange static building over my body. I broke the kiss to breathe as Prime nipped against my neck, soothing it with his glossa. My eyes widen as I watch him reach upon his chest, pulling the plates apart. Two sphere halves sat in the middle of his chest with a slit straight through. A glowing bright blue pulsed behind the metal, his spark. My hand traced over the smooth metal. Prime’s engine rumbled deeply causing the mech to groan.
“Lean against me,” he hoarsely whispered against my ear. “Put your heart against my spark.”
I arched my back as another thrust brought another deep moan through my lips. Prime wrapped his arms tightly against me. My heart laid across his spark, beating frantically to each pulse. He began to piston his hips, deeply thrusting into me as I felt his spark reach out towards me. Strange desires flowed through my body. The feelings of great loss and love. The feelings of finally having the ending done, to know that there was someone to love once again.
I love you.
The three words were a whisper across my mind. It was the static charge that ran through my skin and straight through my heart before trailing south. I arched against Prime and yelled out his name as my release spiraled through me. It was the right amount for the last hard thrust kept Prime in as he bellowed out my name. His spark enveloped me in warmth as something warm coated me from inside.
I don’t know how long it lasted before Optimus was leaning away, pulling himself from me, and closing his chest plates over his spark. He rolled over and collapsed, his vents cycling deeply. One arm was placed over his faceplates as his other traced light circles upon my arm. I slowly crawled to him as he wrapped that same arm around my waist, pulling me close to his warm metallic body.
“That was intense,” I mumbled against the metal, exhaustion clearly heard upon my voice.
Optimus nodded, “Sparkbonding. It leaves both parties spent but tied together. You will never lose me, sweetspark.”
Tears pricked and fell as I nodded. Prime used his digits to wipe them away before pulling me on him. He wrapped his arms around my body using the warmth to keep the chill of the night away. I easily fell asleep to the sound of his spark. I felt as he finally stood and walked me to where his alt mode was parked. I felt as he brought me inside and laid me upon the sleeper bed. I felt as he crawled over and pulled me against his chest.
Before I finally fell into a deeper sleep, I felt as he pressed a warm kiss to my forehead and whispered the same three words that I heard from his spark: I love you.